Tuesday, August 18

Editing the slips has become the six-monthly routine, sarcastically.

someone suggested perhaps I should have one or more posts in english
so that he can understand better what I am actually blabbering about
ok here we go, the first attempt after a not-so-long break

when my so-called-unbelievably-accurate sixth sense signals warnings, I tend to hide and run
though I know very well that merely blindfolding myself does not help to ease the nerves
staring blankly at the curtains, I was actually amazed by the way nature colours the human's creation

it was then six in the morning

after all, the insomnia I somehow enjoyed was actually not too awful
I finished Love Life by Ray Kluun, which later miraculously
helped me to cope with the upcoming surprise

the man who only learnt how to love when he lost his wife who suffered from breast cancer
when they thought that they deserved more than just struggling so hard to fight the cancerous lump
when they're only in their thirties
while the lovely little girl they both treasure so much is only a three year old

some losses are just too hard to bear
but gradually, everyone namely you and I, will get to find out the lessons embedded
everyone learns, we are not born to be the saint and mistakes, only after we learn from them, makes us
someone more precious, someone will against all odds strive to live his or her life to the fullest

this journey turns the world, gracefully and miraculously, into a better place for the livings

so, after all the thoughts gushing up and down I managed to fall asleep
not too deeply, drifting from the reality to the fantasy so lightly
that I knew I was dreaming when someone and something appeared so bluntly
then finally they're blurred and I was drawn back
to the room in which I have been staying for thirteen months

normally it takes me 7 hours to open up thoroughly my senses especially my ears
I heard my phone ringing after 6 hours being the pathetic adventurer without a destination

ah, I forgot, there's something big and important today

this is what I got when I opened my mailbox, after some persuasive thoughts that I was ready
somehow expected, but then again it's not something that makes you go
'ooh ooh aah aah it's not a big deal let's have my day start off with a cup of yummy freshy nescafe'

deep down there, my hope for miracles was smashed into pieces merciless
like the poor pancake got crashed by the four wheel drive after spending only seconds
inhaling the fresh air away from the stuffy oven

we know, miracles do not happen that way, so off we go, move on!

called Mama when I supposed that I can tell her this nonchalantly
woohoo this is also not a simple piece of cake, it burns when you chew
stuffing the towel towards my mouth and nose, trying to hide my blubbering
nonsense, forget about all these garbage when your missie dearie is ditching you
they will definitely know what makes you hardly speak

so this is also not the right time to call Papa and perhaps I should call later, I decided
getting everything sorted out is the chapter studied
since I uncovered the let-me-decide-your-mood-today mail
just in time for me to get some mouthfuls of oxygen needed, name shown on the phone screen


ah, Mama had told him everything I assumed
and may the assumption help me telling Papa what he should know, effortless

people who are understanding touch you to the core, very often
washing off whatever branded concealer you applied, all in vain
guilt takes over when they are just too nice and pleasant to you where at the first place
you're not too well-behaved and can be way too mischievous

no hours of lecturing, no showers of nagging, just nothing
how tolerate can our parents be and I wonder when and how on earth they're granted with such patience
perhaps, I should rephrase it as

how gifted spoiled brats like us are
taking things for granted and expecting to be forgiven
eventhough we just did the nastiest crime

how awful how sweet, the parents and their kids

not a day for mourning, grieving or wailing
no, you might get me wrong, I am not going to make today a miserable one
there are bits and pieces worthwhile to be shaped into a priceless lifetime experience

Loss and Gain, you know who love you dearly
they forgive though they know very well that you will surely forget about your misstep
even moments before the water gets high boiling

Things won't always work the way you want them to, no?

perhaps Papa never knew that he found and got hitched with the wisest lady in the world
though Mama is long aware that her man is trying to master the virtue of a supportive man


  1. Oh too bad.. :( Better luck next time?

  2. Xweing,
    i'm touched to the core, you actually read this post.
    ya hope the luck will shower on me so i wont have to sit for that bloody paper again. xD